Off the trail and into the danger zone

This was where I thought John McCain might just win this election. As General Petraeus and Ambassador Crocker came before the US Senate, I thought John is going to look good. Very good. After all, he has just spent the last week on the campaign trail reminding Americans that a precipitous drawn-down of troops would be foolhardy. And now we have Dave Petraeus in those hallowed halls recommending a 45-day halt to the modest drawn-down that the Administration had promised us. McCain was golden. And he certainly looked the part: calm, even-tempered, but tough––a warrior. That was, until he tried to get the General and the Ambassador to talk about the imminent threat of al-Qaeda. Well, a threat, sure. But not the biggest bogeyman in the region. But they are a threat? Sure. Sorta… They were really trying to give McCain the answer he wanted. He was “Mr. Surge,” after all. But McCain would not let go. He keeped on blabbing about al-Qaeda, like it was the key to this war. The word that strikes terror in the heart of John Q. Public. And then, he did it. He called them Shi’a again. Doooh! Solider Johnny fumbles the globe, once more. Not good. Then Senator Clinton steps to the plate. She is cool, articulate and forceful. This is when I start thinking: This may not be where McCain shines, this may be the forum where the junior senator from Illinois is going to look very…um…junior, I think is the word. I bite my lip hard. My palms begin to sweat. Finally, it’s Obama’s turn. No speechifying is going to save the boy tonight. This is where we see if he is truly a match for these two seasoned Senators. And this is where we got to see Obama at his best. No flowery prose. No retrofitting stump speech bullet points. Instead, a respectful, but tenacious, line of questioning concerning the metrics of success. The question that no one has answered for the past five years. A question that few have even asked. And a question that betrayed something I had yet to notice. Obama has actually thought this thing through. He actually appears to have a plan. A messy one, no doubt. But a plan, nonetheless. And it was pretty clear that this big-eared rookie had just won the day.

Got experience?

On the fifth anniversary of the Iraq war, it is an appropriate concern that the next US president have the right experience, the right knowledge and the right judgment to be Commander-In-Chief. Arguably, the president we got 7 years ago could have benefited from a little more seasoning, a little better grasp of international affairs. So it is a bit alarming when one of the candidates currently running for the highest office in our country seemed to believe that Iran is busy training al-Quaeda. This candidate, in fact, was emphatic about this so-called intelligence. It was, to quote them, “common knowledge.” If anything the American electorate has learned over the past five years it is to be highly skeptical of politicians who begin their sentences about the Islamic world with the words: “It is common knowledge.” It was sentences like these that assured us that it was common knowledge that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction. It was common knowledge that Saddam was in some way behind the events of 9-11. All such knowledge turned out to be dead wrong. 4,000 American lives dead wrong. But perhaps the most perplexing thing about this week’s statement concerning al-Qaeda and Iran is that this presidential candidate obviously confused Sunnis with Shiites. Iran is Shia and al-Qaeda is Sunni. These guys hate each other. Iran isn’t training al-Qaeda, they are trying to exterminate them. This, if you will forgive the phrase, is sort of “common knowledge.” And a candidate that is this inexperienced, this uninformed, this befuddled, is clearly not ready to occupy the Oval Office. Perhaps, they could use a few more years of seasoning. You think? The funny thing is, the candidate that made this curious error, was John McCain. The guy with all the experience. The guy–– who like current guy––got things dead wrong.

GOP terror tactics

Peggy Noonan had it right. John McCain could actually be a quite formidable candidate if he would simply think before he speaks. The latest example of his propensity to just blurt things out was this Friday, when he told the crowd of supporters that he was afraid that al-Qaeda may be planning new attacks to sway this election. This would be classic GOP fear-mongering except that he was implying two very curious thoughts. The first is that the terrorists are pulling for the Democrats. This is very curious, given the main reason we haven’t had a terrorist attack on US soil since 9-11, is that the current President has made killing Americans infinitely easier. He has put them within spitting distance. Thank you, Mr. Bush. You’ve saved al-Qaeda the trip. He has also helped increased recruitment for the terrorist cause by putting boots on the ground on sacred Islamic soil. Which, for those who actually have been paying attention, is the real reason that Osama bin Laden hates the US. We keep desecrating their land with our military bases. So, in fact, the military policies of the Republicans have proven a boon to terrorism. So I don’t see Osama pulling for the Democrats. Not by any stretch of the imagination. The second implication in Senator McCain’s remarks is that a terrorist attack on America would somehow hurt his bid for Commander-In-Chief. This is almost laughable. Such a tragedy would play right into his hawkish strengths! It would be exactly the thing that would make American’s pull the McCain lever. So, on second thought, maybe this isn’t an example of McCain shooting from the lip. Maybe this guy is a Rovian genius! Maybe Peggy has pegged the old boy all wrong.

Torture is our friend

That’s right. Waterboarding may look barbaric, but it is actually the CIA’s most effective weapon against terrorism. And George W. Bush is making darn sure that it stays legal. It’s just amazing the crazy stuff we can get these detainees to admit to mid-drowning! Golly, it’s effective! Yessir, the Spanish Inquistion has nothing on us. By, the way I’ve heard burning people alive can also work its magic. You know, something we can fall back on when there’s water rationing or something. Just a thought.

A natural born president

One of these candidates may not be constitutionally qualified to be President. It’s not the one with the foreign-sounding name and the international up-bringing. It’s the guy from Arizona who was actually born just south of Tucson in a place called the Panama Canal Zone. So, technically, he’s not a natural born citizen. Which is a bit of a rub, particularly for a guy who is a strict constructionist. Now you would think they would have passed a law that would get around this unfortunate accident of birth. And you would be right. The law declared anyone who is born of American citizens should be considered “natural born.” The only problem is that law is no longer on the books. All of which may argue that Hillary Clinton is truly the best qualified candidate to be President. US-born. And a name that doesn’t sound like an al-Qaeda suicide bomber.

Sabre-Rattler-In-Chief

After working as an envoy for peace in Israel, the President has spent the past couple of days trying to rally the Saudis against Iran. To sweeten the deal, the President has announced a $20-billion arms sale to the Gulf Arab states. The only problem is, Saudi Arabia has no interest in helping Bush further destabilize the region. You see, unlike the U.S., they have to live there. They want to contain Iran on their own terms. Plus, the Saudis have been getting mix signals from Bush. One minute he is demanding Iran stop it’s nuclear program, and the next minute, he is voicing support of the Russians providing Tehran nuclear fuel. The Saudis are not too sure that Bush isn’t playing both ends against the middle. They are very nervous about what sort of deals Bush may be cutting with Tehran behind the scenes. But mostly, they see Bush as the doofus who has upset the delicate balance of power between the region’s Sunni majority and the Shi’a minority. He’s the one that opened Pandora’s box. And for that reason, he is probably not the best qualified to put the Shi’a genie back into the bottle. But then again, I have yet to see anything that this President is qualified to do. Have you?

Party with the People’s Party

Bilawal Bhutto Zadari. He’s just your average freshman teenage boy. He has a Facebook page. He attends a prestigious rich kid university. And bottomline: he just wants to have fun. Oh…and did I mention…he’s the new joint leader of the Pakistan’s People’s Party. And, well, it’s putting a major cramp in his style. I mean, most teens come back from Christmas break with a new iPod… young Zadari comes back with a martyred mom and a new part time job making Pakistan safe for democracy. Major bummer. I mean, really! This kid should be throwing keggers, texting hot coeds and pledging a fraternity. But the media is all “Can I quote you?” and “Are you satisfied with the investigation of your mother’s death?” And Bilawai is all like “Whatever.” And it is just wrong. I mean, look at this kid. He’s wearing a fuzzy hoodie! Find Pakistan another savior. This kid needs to study for mid-terms.

Bon Voyage

I have a confession to make. I have a hard time taking anybody seriously who wears a tablecloth on his head. So when this Southern Californian dude sent out his tape calling for Muslims to greet our President’s first trip to the Middle East with bombs and booby traps, I’m like “This has got to be one of those YouTube prank tapes.” Just a kid blowing off steam. But apparently, this diaper-headed prankster has a price on his head. He’s a wanted man. He’s a member of al-Qaeda, for crying out loud! Well, now I’m all like:”Bring it on, al-Qaeda boy!” And then it hits me. This Administration’s war of terror is working. Even our homegrown al-Qaeda jihadists think this global war should be waged on Muslim soil. They are cooperating in this “we’re fighting them over there, so we don’t have to fight them over here” hooey. Want this American President dead? “Well, we’re not hijacking any more planes to D.C. He’s got to come to us.” Well, Mr. President, I never thought I would be saying this, but, Mission Accomplished.