Foreign policy that listens

It sounded like a line out of a Barack Obama speech. Or a John Kerry speech, for that matter. John McCain’s recent address on international policy was all about us listening more to our allies. About being less unilateral in our global dealings. About not being the proverbial bull in the proverbial china shop. Just one problem. John McCain is far better at grasping diplomacy than doing diplomacy. Like the time he went off on Frank-Walter Steinmeier, the foreign minister of Germany. And Joe Lieberman had to calm him down. You know Germany? One of those allies we need to listen to? (This guy Lieberman is like McCain’s back-up brain or something. Does he live on McCain’s shoulder? Is he like always there hovering. Crazy!) Listen, McCain has got the right idea. But so does Obama and Clinton. The question is who has the right temprement to pull it off. We’ve had enough of hot-headed, knee-jerk diplomacy. Next time, we need to get it right. After all, one day Joe Lieberman might not be there.

The death of conservatism

William F. Buckley, Jr. Conservatives adored him. Liberals admired him. He was described by many on the right as their cause’s most articulate, erudite voice. Translation: he uses a lot of big words, talks in long, twisty sentences and we can’t make heads or tails of what he is saying. But sometimes Buckley got right to the point. Simple, direct statements. Like his view that the war in Iraq was an imperialistic train wreck. And that if we had a parliamentary government Bush would been gone long ago. Pundits say that the passing of Buckley marks the death of the conservative movement. I don’t think so. Buckley’s conservative movement died the moment the neo-cons made imperialism a conservative value.

Obama hits a nerve

Enough is enough. Obama has gone too far. He has taken this “honesty” thing to its logical conclusion. He is using Hillary Clinton’s experience against her. And she is fighting mad. At a press conference today she huffed and puffed about Obama mailers that had the audacity to say her husband’s administration signed NAFTA into law. But apparently, Hillary Clinton’s co-presidency with husband Bill––this experience that makes her so darn ready ––did not include NAFTA. She’s against it. And thinks it was a bad idea. So Mr. Obama, I guess the senator from New York would like you to kindly go back to lofty “speeches.” Some of her real-world “solutions” haven’t gone all that well for America.

Quitter

Well, old Fidel is hanging it up. Calling it quits. How refreshing! Someone who doesn’t want to be President. If only Mike Huckabee could chill like Castro. If only Hillary could light up a Havana cigar, kick back and let the next generation fight the good fight. 50 years of public service is quite enough. Even for a Commie. Sure, the revolution is over. The world is safe from Communism. Mr. Gorbachev has torn down that wall. The West has finally won. And all our manufacturing jobs have been outsourced to China. Go figure!

It’s hard to hate him, but we’re working on it

Ah, the good old days! Back when we could hate a man for the color of his skin. Life was so much simpler then! Now it’s a much different story. We good, white Christian people know we can’t hate Barack Obama because he’s black. That would be very backward of us. So we find all sorts of reasons to dislike him. He is too ambitious, we say. Of course, every man or woman who has ever desired this high post must be equally guilty of such inordinate pride. But this guy is downright uppity …er… confident. But that doesn’t quite capture our antipathy. Oh, no, I just put my finger on it. He is a secret Muslim. Barack Hussein Obama, no less! After all, his father was a Muslim and people don’t just turn into Christians overnight. Except for that born again thing. I forgot about that conversion thing. Wait just a minute! If Obama is indeed a Christian, then to Islamic jihadists he is an “Apostate.” The only thing worse than an infidel to those towel heads is an apostate! We might as well put a target on our backs as to park this backsliden Muslim in the Oval Office. We’d be just asking for another 9-11. Of course, my favorite reason to hate Barack Obama is because he is the Antichrist. That one pretty much touches all the bases. That one is pretty much a slam dunk. After all, all this talk about change, hope and peace. That’s got 666 written all over it! Yup, I sure don’t like that guy, Obama. For any number of reasons. Although, I am totally cool with the fact he is black.

I am woman

One Democratic candidate has insisted this presidential campaign is not about race or gender. The other has insisted that it very much is. And her palpable insinuation is, “Girls, you know what you must do.” The results have been pretty predictable. The candidate who reaches across the racial chasm, across the gender gap and across party and regional lines is starting to see that he can attract voters of all races, all genders, all ages and all stripes. Today in Virginia exit polling, he’s even shown that he can reach that most narrow-minded and stubborn of niches: the left wing female baby boomer. The group who have fought their whole life for equal opportunity, equal pay and a sort of equal consequences for reproductive activities. The group who came into this political cycle believing that the 2008 election was about crashing through the glass ceiling and putting someone with ovaries in the Oval Office. But then something happened. These feminist stalwarts––these pioneers of female liberation–– got over the initial euphoria, the momentary giddiness, of knowing they had a bona fide, qualified, sure-thing candidate and looked at a bigger world torn apart by sectarian hatred and a country torn apart by partisan bickering. They looked at how a planet where every group thinks only in terms of their own race, their own clan, their own class and their own creed ultimately implodes upon itself. And maybe they recognized that it is that sort of thinking that is root of the problem. And certainly not the solution. And perhaps, they looked at the last seven years of a narrow-minded administration and realized that this is not the time for more narrow thinking and mindless, lockstep solidarity. It is time that all good women do what all good women have always done best: Set aside their personal agenda and effect the greater good.

Sabre-Rattler-In-Chief

After working as an envoy for peace in Israel, the President has spent the past couple of days trying to rally the Saudis against Iran. To sweeten the deal, the President has announced a $20-billion arms sale to the Gulf Arab states. The only problem is, Saudi Arabia has no interest in helping Bush further destabilize the region. You see, unlike the U.S., they have to live there. They want to contain Iran on their own terms. Plus, the Saudis have been getting mix signals from Bush. One minute he is demanding Iran stop it’s nuclear program, and the next minute, he is voicing support of the Russians providing Tehran nuclear fuel. The Saudis are not too sure that Bush isn’t playing both ends against the middle. They are very nervous about what sort of deals Bush may be cutting with Tehran behind the scenes. But mostly, they see Bush as the doofus who has upset the delicate balance of power between the region’s Sunni majority and the Shi’a minority. He’s the one that opened Pandora’s box. And for that reason, he is probably not the best qualified to put the Shi’a genie back into the bottle. But then again, I have yet to see anything that this President is qualified to do. Have you?

Because It’s There

On March 1923, George Leigh Mallory was asked why he desired to climb Mt Everest. His answer: “Because it’s there.” A year later, Mallory was lost attempting the climb. Some thirty years after, Sir Edmund Hillary made the same climb and lived to tell the tale. In fact, brave Sir Edmund didn’t check out until yesterday––at the ripe old age of 88. Which reminds us that while the challenge of an Everest climb is invigorating, having the mountain conquer you is far less satisfying. Also yesterday, presidential hopeful Bill Richardson checked out of the race. Which has me asking the question: Why attempt a climb that you have no intention of finishing? Why bankroll a bid that is so insurmountable? And the biggie: Why the heck does anyone ever attempt a run for the highest office in this country––maybe the world? The answer, I guess, is the same. “Because it is there.” Well, Governor Richardson, you have won my respect. Because, although you didn’t conquer the mountain, at least the mountain didn’t conquer you.

Muslims dig McCain

Obama has the youth vote. Huckabee has the Evangelical vote. And now John “Mac is Back” McCain has the Islamic vote. Sort of. Manchester State Representative Saghir Tahir has just endorsed the good Senator. Which is a giant disappointment. After getting all those chain e-mails warning us that Barack “Hussein” Obama was a stealth Muslim who was going to be Osama’s inside man––a jihadist in the Oval Office–– I was hoping the junior Senator from Illinois would be the one garnering the Islamic vote. Darn! So Obama is apparently not the Manchurian Candidate. And the decorated veteran that was tortured in a Viet Cong prison camp and endured God-knows-what is. Hey, I saw a movie like that once.

Party with the People’s Party

Bilawal Bhutto Zadari. He’s just your average freshman teenage boy. He has a Facebook page. He attends a prestigious rich kid university. And bottomline: he just wants to have fun. Oh…and did I mention…he’s the new joint leader of the Pakistan’s People’s Party. And, well, it’s putting a major cramp in his style. I mean, most teens come back from Christmas break with a new iPod… young Zadari comes back with a martyred mom and a new part time job making Pakistan safe for democracy. Major bummer. I mean, really! This kid should be throwing keggers, texting hot coeds and pledging a fraternity. But the media is all “Can I quote you?” and “Are you satisfied with the investigation of your mother’s death?” And Bilawai is all like “Whatever.” And it is just wrong. I mean, look at this kid. He’s wearing a fuzzy hoodie! Find Pakistan another savior. This kid needs to study for mid-terms.