Reality Check

He’s looking to Florida to put him back in the game. He is looking at a state rich in Latino voters to put him back on the map. So Rudy Giuliani has done a most logical thing. He has launched a series of Spanish-language TV commercials. That’s right, the same guy advocating that no one be allowed U.S. citizenship without demonstrated fluency in English. Ironic? Ai yi yi yi! Which illustrates the complexities of this hot potato immigration issue. It seems we live in a nation where it is alright for non-citizen Latinos to join the U.S. Marines and die for our country. But if you come across the border and take the jobs we don’t want to do, at wages we refuse to be paid; if you send your kids to our taxpayer-funded public schools; and if you come here speaking another language like our German, Polish, Swedish and Russian ancestors did; Then we get bent out of shape. Then, candidates start saying patently unamerican things like you can’t be a citizen unless you speak, read and write the Queen’s English. But, suddenly, reality sinks in; the hardliners come down from their high horses and become as pragmatic as a Texas restaurant owner or an Arizona homebuilder. These same tough-talking politicians go out and make themselves a Spanish-language TV commercial: Senor Giuliani es muy macho.

Man Crush

Andrew Sullivan is a complicated guy. Gay, Roman Catholic and a politically conservative libertarian. Right. It makes my head explode, too. And his recent article in The Atlantic further complicates this man. Because his take on Obama is not only fascinating, it’s practically idolatrous. And maybe a little gay. Read it and see what you think.

Party with the People’s Party

Bilawal Bhutto Zadari. He’s just your average freshman teenage boy. He has a Facebook page. He attends a prestigious rich kid university. And bottomline: he just wants to have fun. Oh…and did I mention…he’s the new joint leader of the Pakistan’s People’s Party. And, well, it’s putting a major cramp in his style. I mean, most teens come back from Christmas break with a new iPod… young Zadari comes back with a martyred mom and a new part time job making Pakistan safe for democracy. Major bummer. I mean, really! This kid should be throwing keggers, texting hot coeds and pledging a fraternity. But the media is all “Can I quote you?” and “Are you satisfied with the investigation of your mother’s death?” And Bilawai is all like “Whatever.” And it is just wrong. I mean, look at this kid. He’s wearing a fuzzy hoodie! Find Pakistan another savior. This kid needs to study for mid-terms.

Death by Karaoke

It’s kinda funny. A school teacher in Connecticut calls the cops when she hears the janitor doing karaoke over the school PA system. The custodian was doing his heartfelt rendition of “Welcome to the Jungle.” Among the lyrics is the poignant phrase: “you’re in the jungle baby, you’re gonna die.” It was these words that rattled the teacher. Little wonder. These days, the Blackboard Jungle is a pretty scary place. Teachers are routinely blown away by troubled youth. Teachers are held at gunpoint by a government that wants no child left behind. Teachers in low-performing schools are held hostage by standardized tests that ultimately and mercilessly determine where they stand as a teacher. And the biggest gun held to their heads is the one that demands school teachers to inspire our callow youth to achieve the sort of lofty goals that lax parenting, overextended two-income households and poverty-stricken single moms fail to. The cultural cannon is blasting away at the school teacher. And no one stops to think that academic excellence never has rested in their hands. Kids learn to love books when they see parents’ noses wedged in a novel. Kids learn to work hard in school when Mom requires them to work hard at home. Kids keep their beaks out of the nose candy when Dads model contentment, godliness and love. The classroom can only do so much. And parents have to do a whole lot more. That has always been the case. After all, it’s a jungle, baby.