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Monthly Archives: May 2008

What do you do when you’ve had enough? What do you do when you are tired of working for a delusional, lying piece of West Texas poli-trash? What do you do when when it is your job to assure the veracity of said Liar’s lies to the American public? Well, if you are Scott McClellan, you quit. Then, you publish your memoirs. Take that, Mr. President! And if you are the current Press Secretary you assure the press that Scott McClellan is confused, embittered and a total nut job. Gee, I can’t wait for her book.

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Joan of Arc had backbone. Margaret Thatcher had grit. Golda Meier had moxie. And Hillary Clinton has whining. Her latest fine whine is a vintage one: sexism has held her campaign back. It’s a boy’s club. And we women have to stick together. Not since her using tears to manipulate a comeback in New Hampshire, has Clinton looked this desperate. But more than desperate, she looks positively prissy. As Peggy Noonan points out, she has gotten narrow-minded Appalachian men to vote for her, working-class Catholic men to support her and large groups of men with no College education to sign on to her cause. But when you are desperate, you play to your strength: aging feminists––the stalwart group that say they would vote for McCain before they would cast a vote for Obama. Girls, the boys did me in. I think I feel another cry coming on.

Okay, presidential wannabes, listen up. If you don’t want any embarrassment, flack or nagging repudiations, please avoid the endorsement, spiritual mentoring or wedding officiating by an ordained minister of the gospel. These dudes will just get you in trouble. Take this Hagee fellow. You see, he actually believes that God is some sort of Omnipotent Being who orchestrates the destinies of nations. You know, sort of like all those old testament prophets did. Yeah, that kind of belief system is just going to get your political aspirations in major trouble. Because the vast American public are, at best, deists for whom God is too busy with cosmic thumb-twiddling to notice when a madman like Hilter exterminates His chosen people. Or take this blustery Rev. Wright. He believes in a superintending Deity who punishes evil and smites nations for their wicked deeds. Something like 9-11 comes along and he jumps to the conclusion that maybe God was not asleep at the switch. Maybe He was trying to send us a wake-up call. Again, too much time reading the Bible and not the New York Times. Stick with Psalm 23. Chuck the rest. There are plenty of sunny, feel-good verses to wrench out of context (just ask Joel Osteen). So, politicians, remember preachers are trouble. Stay clear of them. And never under any circumstances accept their endorsement (unless the last name is Huckabee). I hope that helps. And God bless America. (Not that He could find it on a map.)

This week, Hillary Clinton managed to say some nice things about Ted Kennedy and put her foot in her mouth concerning his late brother Bobby. Thank goodness, she has reminded us voters that some idealistic, young Senators running for President can suddenly drop out of the race by an assassin’s bullet. Let’s not be hasty. Let’s not rush this thing. I mean, anything can happen. Not that she would wish that on anyone in particular…like… say some uppity negro who has no right in the “White” House…who has a pretty foreign, Muslim-sounding name…may be one for all we know…boy, that’s a scary thought, huh? Are you listening, West Virginian and Kentucky Clinton supporters? Don’t let those guns go to waste, now. Yup, Hillary just gets ornerier and ornerier.

So Obama handily carries Oregon and gets pummeled in Kentucky. Pointy-headed liberals love him. West Virginian and Kentucky hillbillies prefer Hillary. Hillary does better in red states. Obama does better in blue states. Blacks love Obama (can’t figure why). Women over 60 love Hillary (can’t imagine). Okay, can we wrap this deal up already? Please, for Teddy’s sake?

Maybe not Commander and Chief, but definitely more comic presence than Obama or Clinton.

The President has given up golf to show his support for the troops. That oughta turn the tide. Now if only Obama will give up bowling; Hillary give up her hobby of running for president; and Huckabee give up his penchant for improv comedy. What is this? Lent?

The Wall Street Journal published its obituary. The eulogy was delivered by Peggy Noonan. And the man who dug its grave is George W. Bush. May the GOP rest in peace.

It’s bad enough that Hillary Clinton is probably not going to get to break the glass ceiling in the oval office (although, her husband broke a few ceilings in the Presidential oval). But it appears that the next President of the United States is a man who calls women “Sweetie.”

Edwards declares who he’s backing.

No surprise. Hillary Clinton handily carried this state. In fact, if the election was held today, Clinton would carry this routinely blue state, beating McCain by 5 points. But if Obama is the candidate the state goes overwhelmingly for McCain. Which makes Clinton the Democrat who can carry West Virginia, right? Well, that’s the problem with these polls. Today, the Democrat contenders split their strength against a GOP candidate who is the presumed nominee. The fact is, no matter who is the Democratic nominee in November, the party faithful will rally around him/her and John McCain loses West Virginia. For the time being, Hillary has won W. Virginia in a blowout which will get her a round of applause and more Democrats saying she needs to bow out. Kinda bizarre, huh?

David Duke is gone and the hard-working white voter needs a champion. This week they found it in Hillary Clinton. In USA Today, Clinton made it clear:

“Sen. Obama’s support among working, hard-working Americans, white Americans, is weakening again, and how whites in both states who had not completed college were supporting me.”

It is good to know that there is still someone in the Democratic party that is not afraid to stand up for the white man. And to call a spade, a spade. It might not make her the nominee. But she definitely has a shot at Grand Dragon.

While this is not suprising, it is curious that, according to the AP count, Senator Clinton still leads in superdelegates. What is more curious is that she leads by half a superdelegate. Check out MSNBC.com:

The developments left the former first lady with 271.5 superdelegates, to 271 for Obama, according to an Associated Press count.

This can only mean one of two things: There exisits a superdelegate who is only half-heartedly supporting Hillary. Or, my other theory: Mini Me has been secretly included as an honorary superdelegate.

Hillary Clinton just loaned her campaign $6-million. Presumably, to buy up every one of these before they hit the news stands.