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Okay, presidential wannabes, listen up. If you don’t want any embarrassment, flack or nagging repudiations, please avoid the endorsement, spiritual mentoring or wedding officiating by an ordained minister of the gospel. These dudes will just get you in trouble. Take this Hagee fellow. You see, he actually believes that God is some sort of Omnipotent Being who orchestrates the destinies of nations. You know, sort of like all those old testament prophets did. Yeah, that kind of belief system is just going to get your political aspirations in major trouble. Because the vast American public are, at best, deists for whom God is too busy with cosmic thumb-twiddling to notice when a madman like Hilter exterminates His chosen people. Or take this blustery Rev. Wright. He believes in a superintending Deity who punishes evil and smites nations for their wicked deeds. Something like 9-11 comes along and he jumps to the conclusion that maybe God was not asleep at the switch. Maybe He was trying to send us a wake-up call. Again, too much time reading the Bible and not the New York Times. Stick with Psalm 23. Chuck the rest. There are plenty of sunny, feel-good verses to wrench out of context (just ask Joel Osteen). So, politicians, remember preachers are trouble. Stay clear of them. And never under any circumstances accept their endorsement (unless the last name is Huckabee). I hope that helps. And God bless America. (Not that He could find it on a map.)

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