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Okay, the Secret Service deserves an across-the-board raise. Americans are bringing assault rifles to Presidential town halls. And we are supposed to be cool with this. It’s in the Constitution, don’t you see. Right next to where it says flying airplanes into buildings is just freedom of speech. Come on! This country is getting stupider and stupider. The best part is the NRA dude that said it is important that Americans “open carry” their semi automatic weapons to Obama speeches because, “if you don’t use these rights, we’ll lose these rights.” Are you kidding me? I come from fun-loving, gun-loving Texas and if we caught a gentleman of color walking through our neighborhood with a rifle strapped to his ass like this Bowfinger-looking, Popeye-Fried-Chicken-eating homeboy here, we’d haul his NRA-loving ass to a live oak tree and teach him a little common courtesy from the end of a rope. After all, it’s in the Constitution. Freedom of religion.

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11 Comments

  1. Remember the second amendment to the Constitution was there to protect the rights of its citizens to kill squirrels. After fighting a war over the tyranny of government, our founders for damn sure didn’t want their own government to take their right away to kill squirrels. They knew the importance of an armed citizenry to control “out of control squirrels”.

  2. Let me take a guess at who had the most guns there. Huh… Let me take a guess who had the most sophisticated assault weapons there. Huh… Let me guess who had helicopters over head. Huh…. let me guess who had agents at arms length. Huh… I think the country is getting smarter and smarter. They are returning to their rights that are protected by the Constitution as their other rights are being taken away.. by Bush and now Obama.

    As for the oak tree, the LIBERALS definitely have their ropes out. I wouldn’t speak for the rest of us gun loving Texans.

  3. I’ve got three words for you, friend: LEE HARVEY OSWALD.

  4. The Constitution prohibits the government from infringing on their right to keep and bear arms. If you want to change it, the Constitution gives you a means. You do not have an option to ignore it, even when there was a Lee Harvey Oswald.

  5. Get back to me when you can explain why I can’t carry a hand gun onto a jumbo jet, but I can carry it to a Presidential speech.

  6. You can’t carry it into a presidential speech. The protesters that had guns were no where near the president. You need to get your facts right. They were outside of the Presidential speech.

    As far as the jumbo jet goes, the government has mandated that passengers and pilots can not carry guns on-board a jet. They forgot to inform people that hijack airplanes that box knifes are also a weapon and against the rules. Of course, since they didn’t allow pilots to have weapons it makes it kind of uneven. Luckily the government has kept us safe with only four incidents while stimulating the economy with the sale of 3 oz. tubes of toothpaste.

  7. Thank goodness Lee Oswald was only on the Presidential route and not at the actual event! That could have gone very badly, huh?

  8. We can totally agree that convertibles make bad cars for Presidential motorcades but you still have that pesky constitution to ignore.. I mean uphold…

  9. You are absolutely right. It’s not guns that are the problem, its the people who shoot them. Maybe we simply need to outlaw bullets. Pretty sure that would be constitutional. And let’s not forget all the brave young souls who have given their lives for the second amendment. Here is a partial list:

    August 1966: Charles Whitman is one of the most notorious names among America’s mass killers. In August 1966 he climbed a 27-storey tower at the University of Texas in Aust in and shot passersby on the campus below before being killed by police. Fifteen people were killed, including his mother and wife, whom he had shot the night before. An autopsy found he had been suffering from a brain tumour.

    October 1997: A 16-year-old boy stabs his mother, then shoots dead two students at a school in Mississippi, injuring several others.

    December 1997: A 14-year-old boy kills three students in Kentucky.

    March 1998: At Westside Middle School in Jonesboro, Arkansas, two boys aged 13 and 11 set off the fire alarm and killed four students and a teacher as they left the school.

    April 1998: A 14-year-old shoots dead a teacher and wounds two students in Pennsylvania.

    May 1998: A 15-year-old shoots dead two students in a school cafeteria in Oregon.

    June1998: Two adults are hurt in a shooting by a teenage student at a Virginia high school.

    April 1999: Two heavily armed teenage students, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, rampage through their school in Littleton, Colorado, killing 12 students and a teacher, as well as wounding 24 others, before committing suicide

    May 1999: A student injures six pupils in a shoot-out in Georgia.

    November 1999:A 13-year-old girl is shot dead by a classmate in New Mexico.

    February 2000: A six-year-old girl is shot dead by a classmate in Michigan.

    March 2001: A pupil opens fire at a school in California, killing two students.

    January 2002: A student who had been dismissed from the Appalachian School of Law in Grundy, Virginia, kills the dean, a professor and a student, and wounds three others.

    April 2003: A teenager shoots dead the head-teacher at a Pennsylvania school, then kills himself.

    May 2004: Four people are injured in a shooting at a school in Maryland.

    March 2005: Jeffrey Weise, a 16-year-old high school student guns down five students, a teacher and a security guard at Red Lake High School in northern Minnesota before killing himself. He also killed his grandfather and his grandfather’s girlfriend elsewhere on the Chippewa Indian reservation.

    November 2005: A student in Tennessee shoots dead an assistant principal and wounds two other administrators.

    September 2006: Duane Morrison, a 53-year-old drifter, takes six female high school students hostage in Bailey, Colorado, after entering Platte Canyon High School, claiming to be carrying a bomb. He sexually assaulted them and then shot one, fatally, before killing himself when police arrived.

    September 2006: Two days after the Bailey killing, a 15-year-old student kills his school’s principal in western Wisconsin after telling another student “you better run”.

    October 2006: Charles Roberts, a 32-year-old milk truck driver takes hostages and eventually shoots 10 girls girls aged seven to 13, killing five, before shooting himself. Roberts had indicated to his wife over the phone that he had dreams about molesting children.

    April 2007: A gunman kills at least 31 people in a dormitory and classroom at Virginia Tech university before being shot dead himself.

    —-

    April 2007: At least 22 people are killed as a gunman goes on the rampage at the campus of Virginia Tech

    October 2006: A 32-year-old gunman goes on the rampage at an Amish school in Pennsylvania, shooting dead at least three girls before killing himself

    September 2006: A gunman in Colorado shoots and fatally wounds a teenage schoolgirl, and then kills himself

    September 2006: Two days later a teenager kills the headteacher of a school in Cazenovia, Wisconsin

    November 2005: Student in Tennessee shoots dead an assistant principal and wounds two other administrators

    March 2005: Schoolboy in Minnesota kills nine, and then shoots himself

    May 2004: Four people are injured in a shooting at a school in Maryland

    April 2003: Teenager shoots dead a head-teacher at a Pennsylvania school, and then kills himself

    January 2002: A student who had been dismissed from the Appalachian School of Law in Grundy, Virginia, killed the dean, a professor and a student, and wounded three others.

    March 2001: A pupil kills two students after opening fire at a school in California

    February 2000: A classmate shoots dead a six-year-old girl in Michigan.

    November 1999: A 13-year-old girl is murdered by a classmate in New Mexico, again via a shooting.

    May 1999: Six are injured by a student in a shoot-out in Georgia.

    April 1999: Two teenagers shoot dead 12 students and a teacher before killing themselves at Columbine School in Colorado. An award-winning documentary was later made about the killing.

    June 1998: Two adults are hurt in shooting by teenage student at high school in Virginia

  10. But in your nanny state why stop with guns?

    How about cars and alcohol? According to MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving), someone is killed by a drunk driver every 40 minutes. More people have been killed by cars (43,000 per year) than are murdered in a year (15,000 per year). There where 22,073 alcohol induced deaths. Where’s the outrage? Lets ban cars and alcohol.
    But why stop there? 32,327 people died from poisoning. Shouldn’t we ban all forms of chemicals. 21,647 died from falls. Why not ban ladders, trees, and tall buildings?

    Our illiterate founders must not have understood that guns kill people in articulating the second amendment. I guess they where unaware of the concept at the time.

  11. By the way, this reductio ad absurdum argumentation is never as effective as you apparently think it is. Just absurd, that you think it is.


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