Farewell, Teddy

Boy that guy dodged a bullet, huh?

Don’t confuse me with the facts

Sharon Begley at Newsweek doesn’t blame FOX news for the right wing backlash against health-care reform. She blames the American people. A research study shows that people’s convictions are more based in our groundless suspicions than in factual evidence.

For their study, the scientists whittled down surveys filled out by 246 voters, of whom 73 percent believed in a Saddam-9/11 link, to 49 believers who were willing to be interviewed at length in October 2004. Even after the 49 were shown newspaper articles reporting that the 9/11 Commission had not found any evidence linking Saddam and 9/11, and quoting President Bush himself denying it, 48 stuck to their guns: yup, Saddam Hussein, directly or indirectly, brought down the Twin Towers.

Let us pray

Mordecai had his Esther and we have our Michele Bachmann. Clearly, God must be against healthcare reform. Or so that seems to be the idea here. If we fast and humble ourselves before Jehovah, He will unleash His terrible, swift wrath against imaginary death panels and the left’s wicked attempts to intervene for the poor. Congresswoman Bachmann explains:

“We all need to consider that in God’s timing that he may have allowed us, as members of Congress, to be in the position that we’re in just for this specific issue right now,” she said. “Everything that all of us have worked together and labored for over the years, all of it could be undermined with this one bill. President Obama realizes that. The radicals that are on the pro-abortion left, they realize that. They could win it all. And the unborn, and the vulnerable, the disabled and those at the end of life could lose it it all.”

But it was Bachmann’s fervent call to utilize prayer and fasting to beat back health-care reform efforts that was the true highlight of the call.

“That’s really where this battle will be won — on our knees in prayer and fasting,” she told the listeners. “Remember: faith without works is dead. So we’re asking you to do all of it: pray, fast, believe, trust the Lord, but also act.”

Tweet like a sailor

I lost my dad before the age of Twitter. Wait a minute, I think I just found him. http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

Nothing has changed

The networks either don’t listen very carefully or they are deliberately spinning their own narrative. My jaw dropped on Saturday evening as I watched every media outlet parrot the same story: “Obama abandons public option.” And yet, it was clear to me (and to them, I think) that he was doing no such thing. He was merely saying what I had heard him say for months. He believes in a public option, but the White House would not dictate that to congress. They would craft the bill. The public option would not be a deal breaker. Oh, but that doesn’t make for a compelling story. No, the story is Obama wants a public option. The GOP machine gets traction at town hall meetings. Obama loses momentum. The American public bails. Obama changes his tune. Fade to black. Roll the credits. Now why does the mainstream media want that to be the story? Because news is boring. And news is passe. What gets ratings is a compelling plotline. A story with a climax, a twist or two. Which brings me to where I am in complete agreement with the loyal FOX viewer. The mainstream media is not to be trusted.

The liberal media

After a week of wall-to-wall images of angry outbursts at town hall meetings, clearly the tide has turned. Americans are dead set against publicly-funded health care reform. At least that’s what the non-stop clips on the mainstream media would suggest. Just one problem, that ain’t what’s happening:

While television cameras have focused on vocal opponents to health care reform, in many cases they have been outnumbered by supporters of the legislation in general and a public option in particular.

You see, the liberal media really isn’t. They are all about ratings and selling ad space.  Even their Sunday morning talk shows that pensively scowl and question whether Obama might be losing his grasp of the narrative are totally disingenuous. They are the same people that report on Michael Jackson nonstop and wonder with long faces why the American public seem to have missed the week’s significant global events. So for the last time, the media isn’t monolithically liberal. They are monolithically douche bags. You know, like FOX News, just without the Confederate Flag on the hood of their El Camino.

Nutsville, USA

Okay, the Secret Service deserves an across-the-board raise. Americans are bringing assault rifles to Presidential town halls. And we are supposed to be cool with this. It’s in the Constitution, don’t you see. Right next to where it says flying airplanes into buildings is just freedom of speech. Come on! This country is getting stupider and stupider. The best part is the NRA dude that said it is important that Americans “open carry” their semi automatic weapons to Obama speeches because, “if you don’t use these rights, we’ll lose these rights.” Are you kidding me? I come from fun-loving, gun-loving Texas and if we caught a gentleman of color walking through our neighborhood with a rifle strapped to his ass like this Bowfinger-looking, Popeye-Fried-Chicken-eating homeboy here, we’d haul his NRA-loving ass to a live oak tree and teach him a little common courtesy from the end of a rope. After all, it’s in the Constitution. Freedom of religion.

The politics of hate

Name-calling, fear-mongering, mean-spirited emotionalism and disinformation. That is how this  FOX News panel decry the recent health care debate. Only thing is they are describing the Democrats. And they do it with a straight face.

Anything but those guys

Death Panels are sooo last week. The new GOP buzz words are “nameless, faceless bureaucrats” as in “I don’t want a bunch of nameless, faceless bureaucrats making decisions on my health care.” Okay. It’s a deal. All bureaucrats involved in heath care decisions  shall be required to have both a name and a face just like all those sons-of-bitches at my HMO who are busy making all those decisions on my health care.

Queer Eye on health care

Obamacare doesn’t just want to kill granny. They want to perform a sex change on her. No wonder we will have to wait three years to get treated for breast cancer and brain tumors! It is all starting to make sense. You see, in Obama’s Brave New World the hospitals will be run by homosexuals. I’m sure everything will look fa-a-a-bulous! But those people couldn’t organize an apendectomy if their Sunday Brunch Mimosas depended on it. For more information on the absolute terror that is health care reform, just go to prayinjesusname.org.

Government!!!!

Like my old grandma used to say, government can’t do anything right. Just look at this health care fiasco. Why, first those damn democrats give the old folks Medicare, now they want  to give us death panels to kill them off. Death panels that’s right. A panel of pointy-headed ivy league bureaucrats that will kill off every one over 65. The very people who they gave all of those government-sponsored Medicare benefits. Crazy, but true. Heard it on the radio. Government! Go figure!  Now, of course, they want to give the best USA health care in the world to the poor. Bunch of losers from Mexico, for the most part. Of course, these never-worked-a -day-in- their-lives “poor people”  will take the bait and next thing you know the government will be wanting to kill them too. But that’s government for ya! A bunch of pointy-headed socialists who want to give you health benefits so these can march you in front of that death squad or “panel” as they call it and mow you down. What ever happened to government that wanted us all working so they could tax us to death? Huh? Well, they have just found a faster way to kill us, by golly. A darn panel. But that’s government for ya. Like my old grandma used to say, government can’t do anything right. But, of course, she ain’t saying that anymore. Those darn Canadians euthanized her the day she turned 65. Of course, she had to wait 5 years before they could perform the procedure. But that’s government for ya.

Meet Dr. Death

Meet Dr. Ezekial Emanuel. Other than having the most biblical-sounding name on the planet, he is today best known as Obamacare’s Angel of Death. He’s out to smite Granny, Sarah Palin’s Down Syndrome baby and anyone with disabilities. Funny thing is he’s not. In fact, Doc Emanuel’s sister has cerebral palsy and he kinda likes having her around. Doc Emanuel has consequently been an outspoken critic of euthanasia and all things Orwellian for many years. Which, of course, is why he has been Christen the innovator of the Death Pannel by the anti-health reform crowd. After all, if you are going to lie, lie big.

Old Glory

I love the fact they are using the American flag with the 13 original colonies. Last I looked, they are all blue states.

A woman’s work

Working women are about to eclipse working men in this country. Gotta love this recession.